Response to the Letter Addressed to 20 Year Old Self

December 22, 2020


(Link to the previous letter is here)

Technically, I'm back.

I realised that I haven't uploaded at all this year. A part of me felt like simply giving up but the other part of me couldn't resist so here I am once again.

Also, apparently Emergency Contact has the most views out of all the other posts on my blog? For what reason? I have no clue.

Okay, so without further ado, here is my response to the letter I wrote when I was 18!

(The bits containing the old letter will be in blue)


Dear Grace,

Make sure you don't constantly check back on this post, now. You need it to be somewhat of a surprise when you open it. Also, this isn't the most well structured letter you've written but 18 YEAR OLD GRACE DIDN'T GIVE ANY CARES, OKAY?!

You were eighteen when you posted this letter. You are twenty now. That really isn't much of an age difference but hopefully you have matured a lot more (shame on you if you haven't 😝).


Um, girl...

First of all, I've barely been posting since 2019. In fact, this is the first post I've made in 2020! LOL! I bet you never expected that... 

I have looked at this before answering it now but I have forgotten a lot of it.

And yeah, I'm still kinda all over the place. So I'll forgive the lack of structure. 

And oops. I'm twenty one now. I was Twenty until February, though! 



I don't think you'll care, though. Since you lack structure and all. 😉


How are you? Did you get the glo up you were looking for? Are you still as anxious? Do you have more friends now  (internet and in Ireland)? Are you less bitter?


Girrlll.... it's 2020 now and there's this virus going around called Coronavirus (or Covid-19). This is the first time I've experienced a pandemic. It has really turned life around for people around the world. People are forced to be more introverted now! The tables have truly changed! (partly because this disease is crazy contagious and deadly)

 Life honestly doesn't feel that much different these days, except for the fact that I need to wear a mask in order to enter a public building. Also, I've been using more hand sanitiser and I usually wait a day before opening packages I receive.

How am I? I don't think I'm a lot more different than I was at your age. I don't know if I'm anxious but I still don't like going out unless there are barely any people outside.

I don't have real life friends. And as for online friends, I wouldn't necessarily say that I have more friends but different friends.


Do you like Fantasy books now? Have you read a lot of enjoyable books? Do you have any new favourite authors now? (Holly Smale and Harper Lee were basically your only favourites when you made this) Do you hate romance as much as you used to? If you have turned into a sucker for romance you better give a good reason. Seriously. Currently, you only care about the romance in K-dramas, though you only really liked the romance in Cinderella and the Four Knights.


Ugh, so many questions squashed into a paragraph. For flip's sake, Adesuwa Grace. I haven't read a lot since 2019 so I can't really say I like Fantasy more now. I still have no fave authors. Yes. I know.

I haven't glo'd up yet. Still lacking in style but not as much as before 😂

As for romance, my opinion still stands the same! I only care for k-drama romance. All others mostly suck. #noshade #sike #plentyofshade

And also, there was a time around 2019? or 2018 when you were breifly obsessed with the Actor Lee Jongsuk and would watch all his dramas. Remember that? I heard he's gonna return from the military in January 2021, so soon.


Speaking about romance, do you have a (real life) crush now? Have you actually managed to find a boy that qualifies as 'crush material' (and also, do you still have the same celebrity crush that you had back in 2015 and even 2017? Hint: Ji Ho (Gentleman) from Shib Chil (I hope you get the reference, Grace >.<). Has your taste in boys changed? If so, I hope it hasn't changed too much. You had (probably still have) really good taste. In case you have forgotten, you liked skinny, cute almost 'pretty' boys that were very kind and gentle when you were 18. You didn't really care if they were short, after all, you're pretty short yourself (about 162cm) and you believed that it wouldn't even matter if they were even two inches shorter than you (but if they were any shorter, they could probably be mistaken as your younger brother. JUST SAYING (a phrase that you used to only use passive aggressively on purpose. Do you still do that now?))

Oh my gosh, don't remind me. Ughhhh. And yes, I did have a non celebrity/YouTuber crush. I talked to him a few times. But he wasn't from here, nope. LOL! I'm still on a roll. G'wan Grace!

Um, no. I don't have a crush on Mr Hong anymore. (I get the reference, you ain't as slick as you think you are, girl.)


Still think he's beautiful, though.

(I'm lowkey interested in a certain chef with 5 michelin stars, though 😉)

My taste in boys hasn't changed much, though. I still like pretty boys. Just that I wouldn't necessarily date a shorter guy. He doesn't need to be 6 foot or even 5 foot 10 but I prefer taller. And skinny boys are #life.

I actually lowkey like abs now. Blame it on Lee Jongsuk and the chef with five michelin stars. But I don't necessarily care about the abs of other guys, to be honest.

Also, do you have a boyfriend now? If so, then shoot, that would be a plot twist O.o

No... I don't have a boyfriend. But the boy you mentioned above almost became your boyfriend. But thank God it stayed at the talking stage. 

You cried over a guy in the future. Yup! But interestingly enough, you didn't cry over him like you did with Kai and Kry-

 And dang, you're a bit direct with the boyfriend question, though. Chill 😂 Hopefully I can forget him mostly. You unfollowed him on insta so that's great!


Have you finished that story you made that was based on your Junior Certificate experience? If not, you should probably give up writing it now. Seriously. And I hope you have won a writing contest. If not, that's okay. Have you participated in NaNoWriMo yet?


Girl, thank God I've finished that story because I definitely would have given up on it now! I haven't won any writing contests. I don't even think I've written fiction at all this year. I lost a lot of motivation, which includes motivation to post here. I do often doubt that nobody would want to read my stuff because I don't get a lot of engagement. Here and on social media.

I also hope you've read some books by some bloggers, Grace!

I mean... I bought Martin Hospitality this year. Haven't read and reviewed it yet. So can I half cross that off my bucket list?

(Also, I've been writing this for an hour so far. Yes, I'm still slow at typing, I guess.)


I hope you're much better at Spanish and Korean. You should be able to write Korean sentences well by now! Also, have you started learning Mandarin yet? You were super interested in it when you were 18.

Um.... well... not really. I'm sorry, girl. I really am. I guess I got really lazy as well as lost motivation for Spanish and Korean as well. I'm sorry! I'll try harder next year. I really want to better my Korean and eventually learn Mandarin.

Animated GIF


Do you know how to drive now? You really should...


No. Still can't drive. Don't care. I don't like my neighbourhood and I don't want to drive around it. 

It is what it is.


Somewhere here you lost a question about if you're currently in college. No, I'm still not in college but I'm genuinely working towards it. So far, I'm doing quite decently in my subjects. I should be in uni by September 2021, God willing! I know you're disappointed in me but this is how things turned out... you're still not as healthy as you should be. I hope I'll reach the level where I can be as healthy as I desire to be!

You should also know how to cook jollof rice. Come on, Grace...

YES. I CAN MAKE JOLLOF NOW (for a while now actually). GOSH DANG IT. I'm a phony Nigerian no more!


How's your Christian life going? 18 year old Grace struggled a lot. 


Still struggling but I believe. I'm just super disappointed in Churches right now. I'm looking at the way some handle cases like sexual abuse in others and so many are doing such a bad job. 

I hope you have a lot more clothes now and are more bold to walk out in anything you want.


Didn't I just tell you that I haven't glo'd up yet? Sheesh. And I remember telling you that I dislike going outside.


I hope you are taking care of yourself and others. Platonic affection is so important!

Eh. Could be better. I'm drinking almond milk now! No, I'm not vegan. I just can't stand cow's milk. 

Also, ever since talking to that guy, I do lowkey want a boyfriend sometime soon? I'm also aware of the fact that I'm not exactly ready yet. Also, why do so many online friends/acquaintances have boyfriends, huh? Makes me aware of the fact that I've been single since birth. Gosh dang...

 


I hope you're still not afraid of having unpopular opinions sometimes.

Remember to read this, okay? Also, reply to all the questions, okay?

And lastly, don't cry when you read this, you big baby 😝



I'm not afraid of having unpopular opinions girl. You know how I argue with people in my mind on a regular basis. Like girl, chill.

I REPLIED TO ALL THE FREAKING QUESTIONS. HAPPY?!

Em... certainly didn't cry when reading this but I think I did cry before when reading this earlier this year? I think I've cried less this year. So yeahhh....


Also, I know you didn't ask but I've actually started a hair growth journey since last year! So far I've grown my hair from collarbone length to past bra strap length? I still need to measure my hair soon. I'm planning on growing my hair up to tailbone length but I'll settle for waist length. Shrinkage has me obsessed with hair length, for sure! I know you must be proud of me, you've wanted long hair since you were a kid. 

Prove those people wrong! We Black girls can grow our hair long!

I haven't worn my hair out in ages! Can't wait to do wash and go's, twist outs and braid outs when I reach my target hair length!

#hairgoals


I bet you didn't know that a dream inspired this hair journey! You had a dream that you had long hair when you were looking in a mirror. I know that despite my lack of qualifications, you must at least be happy about growing out your hair. 😂



I'll definitely be making more posts sometime soon! The exact time is unknown to me now but it is what it is! 

Have a nice day y'all! If anyone is reading in 2020! LOL...


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0 comments

Keep it all clean, man. Well, if you really wanna curse, use minor swear words. And I mean the minorest of minor ones.

"Or what?" you ask in indignation.

"Or else."